Sunday, 29 March 2015

Miami Connection

Well this isn't something I'd think he'd review, I mean didn't he give up reviewing stuff like this ages ago. But then again when has Snob in recent years even been consistent with his ever changing series of video's, probably because he's trying to find new demographics to increase his viewer base. But let's get to the actual video, and remember these aren't review because it's a pure TGWTG style video with no criticism whatsoever. Reminds me of another reviewer on the site. His jokes in the video range from what the hell was he thinking to he put no effort into any of them. I'll list a couple of them below:

  • Location card jokes (Riveting)
  • Thinking that the actors actually killed people (Was that meant to be funny?)
  • Says the band is pretty shitty (If he thinks the songs are shit then he has very bad taste in music, and those songs were nostalgic and catchy)
  • Making crude sexual movements (I didn't want to see him thrusting)
  • Makes handicapped car spot joke (Yeah we all know Brad is the real handicapped one here)

Now let's get to all the plagiarism he did in the video, he basically repeats the production segment off the wikipedia page at the beginning of the video. Then at the end of the video he repeated the release segment from the wikipedia page, not even Nostalgia Critic would go this low. This clearly shows Brad Jones inability to actually write his own dialog, without it sounding forced and bad. Though the sketch with Film Brain at the end was actually pretty funny, mainly because he made fun of bad. Showing that the truth really does hurt, though originally his lines of dialog weren't even in the video because he forgot to include them. But it's fixed now, and that right there shows how much of a failure he is at editing.

Check out some comments:

Sounds like someone didn't like Jake leaving, me included.

Nope, he was honest. I doubt anyone would want anything Brad would write.

So no better than Jillian's then, amirite Brad? I know you read this blog.

Yeah me too...but apparently he left for good.

Is this a thing now, where he keeps making editing errors. Or is he just plain stupid.

Yeah Brad is going full Spoony on his site, he deletes most stuff Jake related.

Friday, 20 March 2015

Jake (Angry Jake) Norvell leaves Team Snob

Well a rather sudden announcement on Team Snob's patreon account has been made, regarding Jake Norvell leaving Team Snob. No reason was given for his departure and this has only lead to people speculating why he has left. I'll get to that in a bit but apparently Brad is making a "very retooled" version of Shot on Shitteo which means that he'll probably be removing all the footage of Jake. Now this fact just adds fuel to the fire that Brad and Jake had a falling out, clarification on this issue is needed because it seems rather strange if it isn't a personal issue. Unless this is Jerrid all over again...

But a falling out between the two is only one of a couple of reasons, another one is that Brad's new girlfriend got between them and he choose her over him. So it's basically bros before hoes, this is what the commenters over on the site think. Another reason which is probably the most likely one is that it's a personal reason or maybe he got sent to jail or something. At this point it really is a guessing game, but I wouldn't put it past Brad that he betrayed Jake since Brad really is the jealous type.

Jake Norvell's Twitter:

Maybe it was this arguing off screen.

A woman is probably the most likely cause, unless Jake killed someone.

Exactly, so it was a woman behind it all.

Sunday, 15 March 2015

Friday the 13th: A Nude Beginning

Another porno, it seems he really can't stay away from that stuff. Probably because he's single and has nothing else to do but jack off into a sock while he cries over a photo of his waifu. Or he is probably playing "catch" in the backyard with the guys, yeah apparently Brad Jones is bisexual. Didn't see that coming, anyway let's get to the actual video which is just another shallow attempt at trying to get people to think there's nekked people in the video. Morons...just like the Cinema Snob.

For some reason he tries to rationalize the plot of the movie even though it's a porno for crying out loud, is he expecting Casablanca? Then for some reason during the video he equivocates Siskel and Ebert to god and christ, where the hell does he come off making that kind of statement. But then again Brad Jones hates christianity so he'll take any attempt to bash them, what did his local priest molest him, or did his dad? Maybe that is where he skewered vision of reality comes from, maybe that is why he relies to drugs to relieve himself.

The bald bastard himself, I would have chosen the yellow bastard but the Frank Miller would sue me. 

At the start of the video, he pretends he's doing a video on the actual Jason movie but instead says he's doing a porno. Hilarious, it's not like we already knew that, the comedic timing of a dead man. Then he shows  pretentious clips of Siskel and Ebert and basically glory holes them, because we all know that he worships them like the Emperor from Warhammer 40K. And he doesn't even start talking about the porno until five minutes into the video, then goes through it TGWTG style and it really shows how bad his comedic talents really are when he takes jabs at political parties. But then again "Political jabs are a sign of desperation for a joke",  so are blowjob jokes, the lamest kind. And I haven't even mentioned his shitty Tequila and Bonetti sketch, he must really be desperate to create another meme after his last one died. And for some reason the comments section is filled with people arguing about feminism, like they actually got offended by that scene.

Check out some comments:


Hell yeah, there's so much truth here.
Why the hell would he review those shitty movies?

Wednesday, 11 March 2015

The House by the Cemetery

It's good to see him put effort into his video's again, as they are always good when he does. Well let's get to the video shall we, he goes through it TGWTG style and actually does a good job this time, unlike some of his other video's this year. The jokes are funny and it's clear he put thought into them, some more than others mind you. And did he have any criticism for the movie, he did and it was only twenty seconds. It really does sound like he is reading the cliff notes from someone elses review because the way it flows just isn't Brad Jones or the Cinema Snob for that matter.

Now let's get to some stuff in the movie he found confusing or just didn't understand.

  • He didn't know what was making those eyes in the cellar, even though if he paid attention he would have known it was the cat.
  • He didn't know why the house was making children noises, remember the monster in the basement took body parts so it probably took a childs vocal cords. Possibly the little girl's that Bob sees in the movie.
  • He didn't know how the father knew about the monster, even though he found his friends notes.
  • He didn't understand the ending, granted it is confusing but if you knew anything about Lucio Fulci it would be that he was intrigued with the afterlife. Just watching the Beyond would tell you that, and reading interviews with him.

It seems Brad really didn't do his research on this movie on this one, nor did he pay attention enough. I could rant more about stuff he didn't pick up on in the movie but I think this is enough. Anyway here's some comments:

Hasn't this guy got anything better to do?

Exactly, it seems he didn't pay attention.

Damn right, it's called foreshadowing. 

Wednesday, 4 March 2015

Beyond the Darkness: Buio Omega

He spends the first two minutes deciding what to call the movie, and failing miserably at an attempt at comedy. To make this fact worse, he goes through the entire video with bad lighting, he actually started filming with his curtains open. Moron, does he want to be ridicule for being so inept at making video's. But then again what do you expect from some guy who watches porn and gay porn? But let's get to the actual video, he goes through it saying bad jokes and making shitty references ranging from his shitty movie Hooker with a Heart of Gold, to fucking Tequila and Bonetti because that's comedic gold. I'm actually saying the same thing every week, it's the movies and random clips that people find funny. Not the actual guy himself, do I need to post an asalieri video?

Let's get to his criticism of the movie, or rather all thirty seconds of it. For the last thirty seconds he goes on a wild tangent mentioning stupid stuff from the movie, this is the only part where is gives an inch of criticism. Shame he put so little effort into that part of the video. Anyway here's some comments:

Oh lord, someone actually remember that show. Does anyone remember "I want a cone"?

I know, but then again they need the clicks. And they think it's hilarious.

What are you stuck watching Love Me Licia? That Italian Live Action sequel of that Japanese Anime...or not. Yes, I actually made that reference. That's how hardcore I am!

Exactly, one thing Italian movies get right.