Sunday, 3 February 2013

Return to Sleepaway Camp

At least this review was good and funny unlike all many video's of his mostly nearing the end of last year. I didn't like them at all as they weren't funny and lacked the genuine feel, we have had a good start to the year with Tampon Tango and this review here Return to Sleepaway Camp. Didn't like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre review as sadly it wasn't funny probably due to how can you poke fun at it because you can't.

Oh I see he has finally moved into his new house and I see Jerrid is with him, that bed looks big enough for two so are they bunking together if you know what I mean. He's sitting on the bed with no socks on showing his feet, brad people don't watch the cinema snob to see your feet unless he thinks Quentin Tarantino is watching.
Jerrid after getting ploughed by brad the previous night,
You probably just had nightmares after reading that but you see I told you those gay vibes were real, wasn't making it up. He is sitting on the floor and comments that he isn't doing another floor season again as he did that before during his early years. He start's off the review with mentioning that the original director comes back and a few of the actors from the original movie. He say's that their ain't none of this showing the song scene from the second movie or any others mentioning the rest of the bad movies but this is alot of "your ass stinks".
Your ass stinks Brad
He say's that this movie is the most official sequel to the series and it's the worst one yet, I wouldn't agree with that as the worst seems to be the fourth movie which is made up of mostly stock footage from the previous films. At least this one is more recent, he rants over the credits sequence of the movie saying that they show you news clippings of the events from the first movie but he can't read it due to the shaky camera.
Classy
The then cuts to footage from the start of the movie showing kids lighting their farts on fire, he replies with classy way to start out your movie. In the opening scene you then see your main character Alan who is a bully who also gets bullied by others older than him. God he looks like he sit himself and forgot to clean himself up, just look at his shirt. Looks like he's wearing the diaper and the one who pisses his bed.
Brad then say's that he is an unlikable main character and we do not feel sorry for him, probably due to him being just as much an ass as those who bully him. He then states that he is the worst and most unlikable main character ever in a horror film ever made. Vincent Pastore appears in the movie and brad mentions this, must need work if he's in a film like this.
Sopranos is awesome and a must watch
He keeps saying that the cop is Angela but for a first time viewer you wouldn't know that but he keeps bringing it up anyway. He mentions some other actors having a cameo in this movie such as chef, he say's that scenes with Alan holding a knife are useless since we already know that Angela is the killer. If someone is watching the movie then could think that the bully who gets bullied could have possibly killed someone but he just keeps ranting.
He notices the references to the original film such as the pedio chef and more, he say's a least we don't get any of this showing a clip from the original where the chef gets burned and dies. His reaction to this is funny.
He mentions that this was Issac Hayes last released film before he died, he say's that he was mostly standing around looking sad and he would be more sensitive to the reactive mind. Yea reactive mind because he's a scientologist, thanks Brad what have you got against Scientology. People have the freedom to choose any religion they want. Earl from my name is earl is one so what's not to like, also Tom Cruise and alot more celebrities. I don't know what his stick with Scientology is but he shouldn't have one as they aren't bad just different so understand.
The camp junkie makes Alan smoke shit and when he leaves they say his name is blow job and brad say's his initials don't even spell that. He then pauses because har har har Brad Jones = BJ which mean funny.
One of the kids gets tied up and set on fire by bad cgi flames which brad comments and say's "Bad CGI killed him". It then shows his friends reaction to his death which they respond with bad acting.
Bad CGI killed him
Alan gets bullied more and in the scene where he gets shot by paint balls he say's he wish it were child's play 3 where they use real bullets by accident. If that happened then he would be dead which is a good thing, everyone knows that bride of chucky is the best out of all the movies.
The bullies throw skinned frogs at Alan and that made Brad feel sorry for him which he doesn't want to do so he say's that he wants them to be dead. Skinning frogs is just wrong and it's animal cruelty, didn't you see cannibal holocaust. He compares scenes from this to the original but mentions that it doesn't work, he say's that the difference was that Angela was likable and was innocent. He then finished saying that Alan is a bully and can't make you feel sorry for him and doesn't make sense. You can understand what he means as it isn't the same as the original. Alan is in line and people shoot spitballs at him, Brad comments saying Magic Spitball Theory. Gotta love that JFK assassination reference lol, what it's funny.
Brad then says that Alan would have been sent home due to him bullying others and actually throwing a knife at someone. He notices a scene similar to the original who someone is always helping the one getting bullied and is always there to help.
Didn't want to see brad shirtless and wearing a diaper
Jean Claude gets angry
The guy from the Sopranos dies by rats and it fades to black not showing us it, brad responds they probably spent all their budget on cameo's and bad cgi. Another guy gets killed by a hook being put into his pecker and his girlfriend drives away ripping his sh-long off. Ouch that must have hurt. His girlfriend in the car also dies by razor wire placed on the road at head height when driving.
A wooden spike gets poked at a teenager from the floor and misses, then then look through the hole like idiots and you can just guess what happens.
Yea a spike through the eye, ouch. More people start dying such as the fat black chick, Ronnie then thinks it's Angela killing people saying that she's back and say's Angela really quietly and badly I might add. Brad responds by saying "acting" which is a joke anyone can make but it was funny so it's good. People suspect that Alan is doing the killing and one of the bullies beats him with a hammer to death, brad plays music to let us know that god delivered his death.
After more people arrive at Alan's dead body Angela throws off her disguise, brad's say's that oh no Angela was the killer and the cop the entire time talking in a tone as it was predictable. When the people see her one shout's Angela loudly and long, it's really bad acting and comedic so check that part of his review out for a laugh. Brad say's that how could someone not see this coming, the cop has prosthetic'son the face, a fake beard, a voice box and someone who isn't the right build for a man never mind a cop.
He talks about the ending of the original and what will this one leave for us, he mentions M. Night Shyamalan
saying that he started out with the Sixth Sense and Unbreakable but left us with the village. Thanks brad now you don't like the village, you just don't understand the film. Probably mistaken it for porn and was disappointed.
He say's why wasn't the rest of the deaths as gory as the end death scene as they either faded to black or used bad cgi. He finishes saying that he really doesn't like this movie, he say's even after getting the old cast back and the director it isn't the proper reunion we all wished for but just a movie about a bully who cries and be's an ass all the time. Overall this review is a good and funny one so well done on this.

Video Link
http://thecinemasnob.com/2013/01/29/return-to-sleepaway-camp.aspx

A word on other updates on the site

Damn hell what's up with all these Midnight Screenings, I mean stop as there are two much and I doubt people still through and watch people talking about a movie while driving home. It's not like they even take time out to talk about it, just film while raining about a movie you have just saw as it takes no effort to create.

Ninja The Mission Force Riffs: Coming February 8th!Oh shit no more, god knows who actually like ninja the mission force as it's bad. I mean real bad, as in Ghost busters 2 bad. An all new episode and a riff, please god spare us and show mercy. I never liked Ninja The Mission Force as it was mostly not funny, you can tell that they tried but overall it;'s not very good.

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