Saturday, 19 January 2013

Tampon Tango

The last review before he moves to his new place, awww but good riddance as he was staying in Julian's parents house after they were divorced so it was only a matter of time. Yea would would want to be with a guy who watches porn all day long and even reviews them on the internet when he doesn't even have a job you bum. Better yet because this review is also another porn movie this time from Japan which is even worse  than a regular one as these ones (Pink Films) try to include story.

Another porno from japan Brad and you use this as a sendoff before leaving, this video is kinda short compared to others but that's due to the movie itself as he mentions during the video. He starts off saying that this will be the last episode to be shot in that location and then starts remembering the good times he has had there. He flashes and say's did you think I was going to show you and then shows us a clip from nukie as that's how people will remember the house, "with a snot nose dripping turd alien dancing for starving African children".

The intro then rolls showing us clips of the movie or porno in question, he then say's that he want's to give a proper sendoff for us that will be perfect and classy. Yea he chooses a Japanese porno ........... thanks. He starts off the review and say's this is the last movie that you will want to find in your bathrooms trashcan, I can think of worse movies you know.
Damn right this is a worse movie
The director then starts talking about selling x-rated movies in the states and wanting to invade the USA and the video industry. Yea go ahead and flood the market with porn as if their isn't enough of it already. Snob replies saying that the story ends very sadly saying that he follow up was Dragon Wars. Ahem, Dragon Wars is a Korean movie and not Japanese so he's wrong on this one but he just mentioned some Asian movie and didn't think about it.
Dragon Wars is a good movie though
He continues and it shows a bunch of people having sex in phone booths and on the street. Brad then say's is this a normal day in japan, yea im pretty sure this is a normal day in japan except in this movie there isn't any man beasts and demons running around raping everything that moves.
The director of this trash continued to director and mad the 2006 film man, woman and the wall. Guessing that's another porno, he then say's a glory hole movie and that you don't need to see it and just go to any seedy bar downtown. Yea if you do you will probably find Brad and Jerrid occupying it.
The smallest black box he has ever put in a porno, well they are Asian ohhhhh. Brad say's you have heard of johnny wad and this here is Hasimoto needles, now that's funny.
He then continues poking fun at the movie and making jokes, why does a meteorite hit someone as this is really terrible. He shows us some guy doing you don't want to know what and moves on.
Dear God
A guy arrives at some woman's house and starts dancing like an idiot, brad then say's just add Gangnam style to it and it will be a hit. That is so true.
Japanese Gangnam Style
He say's if you are confused by this movies narrative, don't be as it doesn't have one. Yea pink films are basically a collection of sex scenes throwing in random story elements that don't make sense. I mean, did you watch his Entrails of a virgin review.
Quentin Tarantino presents
The video is coming to a close which is a good thing so I can stop typing, an orgy happens and brad say's "why is there no music in this orgy" which is a funny line to say as it's really random.
He say's they have been trying to sell him a house but the one he bought has no Japanese sluts in it. He then say's that if you get a bunch of Japanese people together it doesn't matter there's an orgy going on there is always going to be a parade. The movie then ends and so does this review, he ends saying that there was a surprising lack of tango in this movie, even the running time is tiny and how can he pad out the video now. He then shows a clip from I am legend who Will Smith copy's lines from Shrek.

Oh dear god, I am Legend. That's a really bad movie, I mean have you saw how bad the CGI is.
Howard the Duck has better Special Effects than this movie
He shaves some hair off his face which was pretty disgusting to watch, he puts it in a bag so he now has everything packed. Overall this was much better than the last episode which was pretty bad but this was a good video and had some laughs so finally a positive one. There were funny jokes, he made fun of the movie well and is a good sendoff video but it could have been longer but the main thing is that it had laughs which is why people watch his videos.

Video Link
http://thecinemasnob.com/2013/01/15/tampon-tango.aspx

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