Wednesday, 19 December 2012

Team Snob Gift Exchange

Exchanging gifts with friends is really a joyous event, especially when the presents suck. They range from a batman yo-yo to terrible movies on DVD and that makes this event that much sadder. When Jake stuck on that hat it was kinda racist, did he do that to make sure the Asian demographic watches the show or was he pretending to be this guy.
Vietcong jungle fighter hardened by years of war
The batman yo-yo was kinda lame but so is this event, brad seems to be wearing that nestle crunch t shirt from a few video's back. What has he been wearing it ever since so he could gain money by advertising so he could eat, probably grease stains down it and sweat patches at the armpits.
Eating out of garbage bins again I see, what's for diner shit in a can, a couple of cockroaches or a barf bag with a few bits of meat that someone threw up. I would just like to mention that Jake's facial hair is really disgusting as it looks like a big ball of fur sticking out from his face.
Ugh gross and watch those chompers
Hmm the best party right here, lets see what we got. Potato chips and lots of alcohol, ok not the best choice of food but it's better than what's in that garbage bag. Possibly a bit to much alcohol, brad probably asked everyone to play poker and roofie roulette. You know brad's like that anyhow as that's what caused his divorce.

Most of his friends are here but wheres jerrid, what didn't he invite him or did the rest of the gang not want him to appear. And I thought brad was his friend, Jerrid is probably a party crasher but not the movie. Oh wait I remember, Jerrid was told to stay home and dress up in womens clothes just like in these nightmarish images.
Warning covers your child's eyes
Later on in the video at the end they are hitting each other with the Socker Boppers but that's not what we see in this image.Yea im pretty sure everyone had a blast playing poker, drinking the can's of beer that brad put the roofie's in and just playing around. More or less they are all just messing around having fun so not much to see here in this video but for those who are interested in his life outside of the cinema snob you should probably watch it.
Told you those gay vibes were real
Who invited ugly Ted Raimi to the party
Check out the must see awesome new sucks blog video.

Tuesday, 11 December 2012

The Top 10 Cinema Snob Moments of 2012

I really didn't like this video as it was mostly just a clip show of his old video's with 2 minutes of new footage. It kinda reminds me of those Stargate save money episodes where they just sit around talking about previous episodes while barely showing anything new. I would say that my number 1 moment of 2012 would be when Brad got divorced and the 2nd would be when this blog was created, 3rd would be when Jerrid got kicked out of his house. Another one would be when Brad tried to extort money from his fans by making them pay $20 for the DVD of his movie without shipping which is really cruel.
After walking in on the boys playing poker she wanted a divorce
Basically this video is him saying a few lines, then showing you a clip from his previous video's. Not much to say here but does he have to frequently insult Jerrid or is it just a running gag he is trying to make, doesn't matter because it's not funny. Jerrid isn't funny either but I guess he tries, also dressing up as Jesus ain't cool as he can walk on water, turn water into wine, come back from the dead while Jerrid can't do anything but but be bald and fat. I though he would have mentioned Gross Out but most of the ones he did mention I would have to disagree with half of them. This video probably took him very quick to make so it may seem kinda lazy.

For the end of this let me just show you the Real brad Jones and his friends in those images I used before.

Thursday, 6 December 2012

Silent Night, Deadly Night III: Better Watch Out!

Ho ho ho, it's that time of the year. The time when people watch bad Christmas movies on the hallmark channel, except this time the Cinema Snob is watching Silent Night, Deadly Night III: Better Watch Out!. Why couldn't he have reviewed the league of gentlemen Christmas special, don't know if people in the US know what im talking about though since it's from the BBC. I thought that this video was kinda mediocre but the previous review was better so let me tell you why.

Oh you better watch out, you better not cry as im gonna tell you why your my wife now.

I hope that video scared you because it gave many children in the UK nightmares when it was aired. 04:35, I really didn't want to see this though, what the hell is this anyway Jerrid raping Brad while wearing Santa's face.
This happens to Brad every day now since Jerrid moved in
Nothing makes Christmas like red text with green outer glow. It could have been what he had to work with or how he went about it but in the end the video wasn't all that good. It started off great but the longer it went on it became worse, nice nukie reference at 16:26 though. 10:03 was really bad acting.
Fix those teeth before fixing your acting
11:57 Cinema Snob talks about phone sex woman, yea probably because he's phoned one a many up before while jacking off. Oh yea and Brad, clean your hand before shaking anyone else's or they'll get herpes.

12:35 he mentions Robert Culp but who cares about him or golden girl. Brad just keeps bringing that up as he has moved on from mentioning Pierre Kirby so he wants to bring up something else or more recent. 14:07 he says though you said Laura and then he makes a lame joke. He could have said Laura himself, you know like hoe Nostalgia Critic does it and repeats SARAH in his Jurassic Park 2 review because that's how you properly review movies. 15:18 he finishes saying about do you remember that Twilight Zone episode, no I don't remember that episode and that joke wasn't even funny.
Hey look a younger version of Jerrid if he had big hair
Cinema Snob could even have said "hey didn't know Jerrid was in this one!, well at least he looks more like Jerrid than that caveman guy in Son of Sleepaway Camp does to Tommy Wiseau. At 16:11 he says I should be watching the Terror, hey what did he do look up the movie on IMDb and scroll down to connections.
Oh yea and The Cinema Snob isn't a real TV show so you shouldn't be allowed to add it on IMDB, do you want AVGN's Child Films on IMDB with full cast listings, budgets, alternate titles and more
Brad also could have mentioned that Robert Culp's partner looks like Dutch from the Shield but maybe he hasn't saw that.
See they look similar and more so than Caveboy and Tommy Wiseau
He says even his jokes are funny at 17:07 but that joke Robert Culp makes wasn't funny. Blind Debbie downer wasn't funny either brad so improve on jokes or are you just this unfunny in real life. 19:13 Robert Culp finishes saying relieve the reptile meaning he is going to take a piss but we all know that wasn't funny and how to properly make a piss joke but not drain the lizard from the lone gunmen in the X Files as that wasn't funny when they said that. He should have inserted that clip from Star Trek First Contact where James Cromwell says "I gotta take a leak" and Geordi doesn't understand what he means as that is funny so insert clip as that's what you do when something like this happens in a movie.

Oh yea, First Contact
And Robert Culp didn't make a piss joke sound cool as Brad says, more like uncool as we all know James Cromwell is the man. He was in Species 2 you know, whatever that goes for.

Species 2, Oh Yea
Instead of mentioning troll 2 at 21:19 he could have made a force ghost joke like in Star Wars or even show a clip but he didn't. Let me just say that how is she supposed to know that he brother died if shes blind, she may have heard something but she can't confirm unless she can see the body which she can't. He says the power to watch your brother get killed but remember she's blind, as well even if she though her brother died she wouldn't have a proper emotion since she is blind and would therefore be already sad due to not living a normal life but don't worry Brad didn't bother to think or is he always this ignorant.

Just because it's a Christmas doesn't mean the killer has to dress up in a Santa outfit, it isn't like that in Black Christmas and that has Christmas in the title and based around the same time. When the killer says "and a happy new hear" that could be her having a physic dream or the killer isn't dead as when the killer at the end of the movie appears at the end because he isn't dead. That happens in alot of movies so he could have at least mentioned that. He says standout scenes like this at 23:20 but the movie has to show that the main character is blind and that people need to help her move around. That was an entire scene but it wasn't walking for minutes or anything like that or do I need to quote Spoony Snob "we know he's walking".

Shooting at jerrid at the end wasn't funny and he doesn't look like Goldberg you idiots in the comments section. So what is anyone who has goatee and is bald now look like Goldberg. Christmas Eve day was not funny so say something better, he says highly disappointing but so was this video. 25:08 he sits on a fart pillow or insert fart pillow sound effects but we all know fart jokes aren't funny and belong on Nickelodeon.

Not Goldberg
Santa kinda sorta does exist and so does DVD cases as your not holding a Blu Ray as this is what the Blu Ray cover looks like. There is also no blue sections around the edges which all Blu rays have so either Cinema Snob is stupid or can't tell the difference between a DVD case and a Blu ray.
This is what a Blu-ray looks like
See not a blue ray case
Overall the video was lower than mediocre but not downright bad. Do I have to constantly mention other internet reviewers to give Cinema Snob suggestions on how to properly review a movie, That SciFi Guy does it properly and so does Nostalgia Critic so learn from them and improve because they can show you how to properly insert clips into your review to make them better. Such as when I said putting in a predator clip into his last review would have been better since the guy was waiting behind while everyone else went forward, you know like in Predator so he should have inserted clip to make it funny.

Put those teeth away or do you want me to buy you a tooth brush for Christmas
Let me just say this, Cinema Snob said he wouldn't take my suggestion on the last article but I know the real reason why. He won't take my suggestions as that would make his video's funny, that's the real reason here and why didn't Cinema Snob tell us he appeared in the latest That SciFi Guy video. He appears only for a bit but he still should have mentioned it, That SciFi Guy's video's are miles ahead of brad's even if it takes him months to create a new video.

Link to his video so check it out as it's funny and more enjoyable than Cinema Snob's latest video.