Wednesday, 19 December 2012

Team Snob Gift Exchange

Exchanging gifts with friends is really a joyous event, especially when the presents suck. They range from a batman yo-yo to terrible movies on DVD and that makes this event that much sadder. When Jake stuck on that hat it was kinda racist, did he do that to make sure the Asian demographic watches the show or was he pretending to be this guy.
Vietcong jungle fighter hardened by years of war
The batman yo-yo was kinda lame but so is this event, brad seems to be wearing that nestle crunch t shirt from a few video's back. What has he been wearing it ever since so he could gain money by advertising so he could eat, probably grease stains down it and sweat patches at the armpits.
Eating out of garbage bins again I see, what's for diner shit in a can, a couple of cockroaches or a barf bag with a few bits of meat that someone threw up. I would just like to mention that Jake's facial hair is really disgusting as it looks like a big ball of fur sticking out from his face.
Ugh gross and watch those chompers
Hmm the best party right here, lets see what we got. Potato chips and lots of alcohol, ok not the best choice of food but it's better than what's in that garbage bag. Possibly a bit to much alcohol, brad probably asked everyone to play poker and roofie roulette. You know brad's like that anyhow as that's what caused his divorce.

Most of his friends are here but wheres jerrid, what didn't he invite him or did the rest of the gang not want him to appear. And I thought brad was his friend, Jerrid is probably a party crasher but not the movie. Oh wait I remember, Jerrid was told to stay home and dress up in womens clothes just like in these nightmarish images.
Warning covers your child's eyes
Later on in the video at the end they are hitting each other with the Socker Boppers but that's not what we see in this image.Yea im pretty sure everyone had a blast playing poker, drinking the can's of beer that brad put the roofie's in and just playing around. More or less they are all just messing around having fun so not much to see here in this video but for those who are interested in his life outside of the cinema snob you should probably watch it.
Told you those gay vibes were real
Who invited ugly Ted Raimi to the party
Check out the must see awesome new sucks blog video.

Tuesday, 11 December 2012

The Top 10 Cinema Snob Moments of 2012

I really didn't like this video as it was mostly just a clip show of his old video's with 2 minutes of new footage. It kinda reminds me of those Stargate save money episodes where they just sit around talking about previous episodes while barely showing anything new. I would say that my number 1 moment of 2012 would be when Brad got divorced and the 2nd would be when this blog was created, 3rd would be when Jerrid got kicked out of his house. Another one would be when Brad tried to extort money from his fans by making them pay $20 for the DVD of his movie without shipping which is really cruel.
After walking in on the boys playing poker she wanted a divorce
Basically this video is him saying a few lines, then showing you a clip from his previous video's. Not much to say here but does he have to frequently insult Jerrid or is it just a running gag he is trying to make, doesn't matter because it's not funny. Jerrid isn't funny either but I guess he tries, also dressing up as Jesus ain't cool as he can walk on water, turn water into wine, come back from the dead while Jerrid can't do anything but but be bald and fat. I though he would have mentioned Gross Out but most of the ones he did mention I would have to disagree with half of them. This video probably took him very quick to make so it may seem kinda lazy.

For the end of this let me just show you the Real brad Jones and his friends in those images I used before.

Thursday, 6 December 2012

Silent Night, Deadly Night III: Better Watch Out!

Ho ho ho, it's that time of the year. The time when people watch bad Christmas movies on the hallmark channel, except this time the Cinema Snob is watching Silent Night, Deadly Night III: Better Watch Out!. Why couldn't he have reviewed the league of gentlemen Christmas special, don't know if people in the US know what im talking about though since it's from the BBC. I thought that this video was kinda mediocre but the previous review was better so let me tell you why.

Oh you better watch out, you better not cry as im gonna tell you why your my wife now.

I hope that video scared you because it gave many children in the UK nightmares when it was aired. 04:35, I really didn't want to see this though, what the hell is this anyway Jerrid raping Brad while wearing Santa's face.
This happens to Brad every day now since Jerrid moved in
Nothing makes Christmas like red text with green outer glow. It could have been what he had to work with or how he went about it but in the end the video wasn't all that good. It started off great but the longer it went on it became worse, nice nukie reference at 16:26 though. 10:03 was really bad acting.
Fix those teeth before fixing your acting
11:57 Cinema Snob talks about phone sex woman, yea probably because he's phoned one a many up before while jacking off. Oh yea and Brad, clean your hand before shaking anyone else's or they'll get herpes.

12:35 he mentions Robert Culp but who cares about him or golden girl. Brad just keeps bringing that up as he has moved on from mentioning Pierre Kirby so he wants to bring up something else or more recent. 14:07 he says though you said Laura and then he makes a lame joke. He could have said Laura himself, you know like hoe Nostalgia Critic does it and repeats SARAH in his Jurassic Park 2 review because that's how you properly review movies. 15:18 he finishes saying about do you remember that Twilight Zone episode, no I don't remember that episode and that joke wasn't even funny.
Hey look a younger version of Jerrid if he had big hair
Cinema Snob could even have said "hey didn't know Jerrid was in this one!, well at least he looks more like Jerrid than that caveman guy in Son of Sleepaway Camp does to Tommy Wiseau. At 16:11 he says I should be watching the Terror, hey what did he do look up the movie on IMDb and scroll down to connections.
Oh yea and The Cinema Snob isn't a real TV show so you shouldn't be allowed to add it on IMDB, do you want AVGN's Child Films on IMDB with full cast listings, budgets, alternate titles and more
Brad also could have mentioned that Robert Culp's partner looks like Dutch from the Shield but maybe he hasn't saw that.
See they look similar and more so than Caveboy and Tommy Wiseau
He says even his jokes are funny at 17:07 but that joke Robert Culp makes wasn't funny. Blind Debbie downer wasn't funny either brad so improve on jokes or are you just this unfunny in real life. 19:13 Robert Culp finishes saying relieve the reptile meaning he is going to take a piss but we all know that wasn't funny and how to properly make a piss joke but not drain the lizard from the lone gunmen in the X Files as that wasn't funny when they said that. He should have inserted that clip from Star Trek First Contact where James Cromwell says "I gotta take a leak" and Geordi doesn't understand what he means as that is funny so insert clip as that's what you do when something like this happens in a movie.

Oh yea, First Contact
And Robert Culp didn't make a piss joke sound cool as Brad says, more like uncool as we all know James Cromwell is the man. He was in Species 2 you know, whatever that goes for.

Species 2, Oh Yea
Instead of mentioning troll 2 at 21:19 he could have made a force ghost joke like in Star Wars or even show a clip but he didn't. Let me just say that how is she supposed to know that he brother died if shes blind, she may have heard something but she can't confirm unless she can see the body which she can't. He says the power to watch your brother get killed but remember she's blind, as well even if she though her brother died she wouldn't have a proper emotion since she is blind and would therefore be already sad due to not living a normal life but don't worry Brad didn't bother to think or is he always this ignorant.

Just because it's a Christmas doesn't mean the killer has to dress up in a Santa outfit, it isn't like that in Black Christmas and that has Christmas in the title and based around the same time. When the killer says "and a happy new hear" that could be her having a physic dream or the killer isn't dead as when the killer at the end of the movie appears at the end because he isn't dead. That happens in alot of movies so he could have at least mentioned that. He says standout scenes like this at 23:20 but the movie has to show that the main character is blind and that people need to help her move around. That was an entire scene but it wasn't walking for minutes or anything like that or do I need to quote Spoony Snob "we know he's walking".

Shooting at jerrid at the end wasn't funny and he doesn't look like Goldberg you idiots in the comments section. So what is anyone who has goatee and is bald now look like Goldberg. Christmas Eve day was not funny so say something better, he says highly disappointing but so was this video. 25:08 he sits on a fart pillow or insert fart pillow sound effects but we all know fart jokes aren't funny and belong on Nickelodeon.

Not Goldberg
Santa kinda sorta does exist and so does DVD cases as your not holding a Blu Ray as this is what the Blu Ray cover looks like. There is also no blue sections around the edges which all Blu rays have so either Cinema Snob is stupid or can't tell the difference between a DVD case and a Blu ray.
This is what a Blu-ray looks like
See not a blue ray case
Overall the video was lower than mediocre but not downright bad. Do I have to constantly mention other internet reviewers to give Cinema Snob suggestions on how to properly review a movie, That SciFi Guy does it properly and so does Nostalgia Critic so learn from them and improve because they can show you how to properly insert clips into your review to make them better. Such as when I said putting in a predator clip into his last review would have been better since the guy was waiting behind while everyone else went forward, you know like in Predator so he should have inserted clip to make it funny.

Put those teeth away or do you want me to buy you a tooth brush for Christmas
Let me just say this, Cinema Snob said he wouldn't take my suggestion on the last article but I know the real reason why. He won't take my suggestions as that would make his video's funny, that's the real reason here and why didn't Cinema Snob tell us he appeared in the latest That SciFi Guy video. He appears only for a bit but he still should have mentioned it, That SciFi Guy's video's are miles ahead of brad's even if it takes him months to create a new video.

Link to his video so check it out as it's funny and more enjoyable than Cinema Snob's latest video.

Friday, 30 November 2012

Son of Sleepaway Camp

This review was just meh so it wasn't all bad but could have been better so I will point some of that out and what he could have said or done. It could have been the movie that he reviewed or it could have just been his performance this but but overall I think it was a bit of both. First off let me start with I HATE THESE POPUPS.

Don't know who the hell this idiot is and I don't care

At 01:14 he mentions FernGully: The Last Rainforest so what did he have to meet his quota on others movies that other people in TGWTG's have reviewed. At 02:34 he starts to mention other movies that have son in them but those movies titles are not alternate titles and some of those are actual sequels to others movies and not only related because of the title which makes Brad wrong for mentioning them unless he though it was funny but it was just kinda stupid to do so. Let me start with Son of the Mask which is one of the worst movies that I have saw but at least it is a sequel although a standalone one which is more than I can say for Son of Sleepaway camp which is only related to the other movies by alternate title only. I could also say the same thing about Son of Godzilla which at least a Godzilla movie which makes it related to the other movies which again something I can't say about Son of Sleepaway camp.

At 04:48 he mentions something I don't know but he could have said Poochinski but he was probably like that after and then oh yea I could have said that but oh well I'll just mention it later on in the video because he probably that that people though he would mention it. At 06:35 he said insaneoman which doesn't bring up anything on Google but at first glance anyone would have said look it's Yor the Hunter from the Future. To further say that he should have mentioned this is the fact that he knows Spoony one so he should have known what he has done and then Yor would have sprung to mind but it didn't which was sad to hear as I was expecting him to say it.
Yors World
Around 07:54 there are snakes but he could have said Snakes why does it have to be Snakes, I hate Snakes which is from Indiana Jones which he should have mentioned but he didn't as that would have been better to say than what he said. Mentioning Eric Cartman from South Park around 09:04 wasn't funny and neither were many other jokes as he should improve on making jokes, not that all of them weren't funny though. At 09:40 Charles Bronson appears (Death Wish) not the criminal though but Brad should have said and "Charles Bronson opens the door" but he didn't, instead he made another lame joke but at least he say's Charles Bronson later on in the video but still he should have said it when he first appears. At 10:07 he said I should make a VCR joke but since he owns them he didn't but that doesn't mean you can't still make a joke as he should have so he should do in the future. At 11:57 he mentions he has a fetish of shitting on peoples backs, no wonder why he got divorced.
Honey can I shit on your back
At 15:38 he says that isn't the music from sleepaway camp and says that doesn't this music suit better but I don't remember that music from his Sleepaway camp reviews or is it from something else. At 16:18 he said wandering Tommy Wiseau so what did he have to meet his quota again from TGWTG's and he doesn't look like Tommy Wiseau in that part so just look at this image and see for yourself.

Not Tommy Wiseau
After he mentions that those guys find Jesus's resting place but that is on another continent, just for a joke I know but highly inaccurate and not funny. Around 17:07 there is no music and he mentions that but he should have inserted music himself like in his earlier reviews which is what he should have done here. At 17:24 the fat guy falls on a spike trap but Brad didn't say anything when he should have said he fell on a Vietnamese spike trap from Vietnam, you know the ones which have shit covered all over them so if you survive falling on them you will still be infected with some form of disease, no one.

Later he mentions that people can't find him although he is in plain sight but remember they don't know what he looks like and he is also a human which could make people  mistake him for a regular person. At 19:03 he says it has a bigger budget than any of the other sleepaway camps I guess, just remember it also has a bigger budget than the Cinema Snob Movie which just goes to show. At 20:39 the old guy stay's behind but he could have showed a clip of predator where a guy does the same in that and then that part of his review would have been funny or do I have to fix it for him.

Overall the review is ok but not great as he could have made it much better by doing some of the things mentioned in this article so take notice Brad and improve for next time. It doesn't mean that their isn't any funny moments but the bad outweighed the good. Also I would just like to state that this review was done weeks ago and only uploaded recently to have a update for the site, you can tell by the style of Brad's haircut in the video as it is totally different from his hair in Max Force claims The Cinema Snob is "Filth" which goes to show the time difference from when they were both filmed. Watch out for my next article when Brad puts up another review.

Just see the difference in his hair cut

Thursday, 29 November 2012

Drunk El Topo Chico & Friends, Plus New Video

The video was kinda funny so it wasn't all bad but I will just point out some things. First off I would just like to say that I hate those popups of people from TGWTG's group as I really don't like them and are annoying when appearing while you are watching the video. Here is a pic to show you.

God I hate that guy
About El Topo Chico's costume, he looks like a cross between Tony Soprano because of the white bathrobe and Rey Mysterio due to the Mexican wrestling mask.

The way he talks sounds like Mr krabs from spongebob squarepants or the Bum from the Nostalgia critic so that's not a bad thing. When they are all drinking it doesn't seem like they want to drink the drinks like who would but they should actually chug the drinks for the video as Ed Glaser just sipped the bottle which was kinda lame. Adding audio over when he is walking past the crowd as seen below was not really that funny as it would have been more funny to have seen the crowds reaction to him as he walked by.

Watch out when drinking drinks from mexico as by not reading the label you could mistakenly be drinking Mexican deep throat. When brad said I was expecting way worse and farted into a tequila bottle I though he was going to say Mexican deep throat as that would have been funny as he mentioned that in one of his brad tries videos. El Topo Chico say pretty white lady but that sounds more like it would come from a native american than a Mexican so did they get mixed up.

I really don't like this creepy comment as it could give anyone nightmares.

Anonymous wrote:

Please tell me there is a part 2 that is nothing but El Topo Chico fucking Ed Glaser.
And now everyone barfs into the nearest bin after reading that comment. Nobody wants to see part 2 even if it is on the premium section of the site. At the halfway mark it says El Topo Chico will be right back but they was no mid video as which I though would appear but Cinema Snob doesn't do that with his video's which is a good thing unlike the Nostalgia critic who stopped doing episodes which made alot of people PO but that's unrelated to this blog.

El topo tries to steal Ninja the mission force DVD's but who the hell would want that piece of crap because I watched it all and it was bad, like Nukie bad. I know they tried doing something different but I didn't like it as it didn't work for me as it wasn't funny.

Stealing DVD's, oh El Topo
At the end El Topo mentions an orgy, because Mexicans always do orgy's? Some people may think El Topo to be a bit racist or discrimination to Mexicans but not as much as Irate Gamer on his road trip bloopers. Go to 2:12 and watch from there.

This was from the horror hound weekend which was over a week ago but we all know that Brad loves to keep videos from us so he can update every once in a while which has both good and bad aspects of it like when he put up a Bruno Mattei Show episode that was recorder over a year before he uploaded it. Well that's all for today but I will leave you with this, I told you about those homo vibes.

I also did another video so check that out if your interested.

Tuesday, 27 November 2012

Official Blog Teaser Trailer

That's right it happened and you can view it right here on the blog. The most awesome video ever right here on the internet advertising the Cinema Snob Sucks Blog.

People pretending to be me and trying to find out where I am

It's really sad for those people pretending to be me and then putting in their own responses to act like they are right. They are even more stupid when they post wrong information that they probably dug up by a Google search. Here's what he posted

Birdies wrote:
Guys guys, don't trash Pearse on the forums. You could try to get in touch with him at 028-9024-5133 or maybe stop by University Road, Belfast BT7 1NN, United Kingdom. I probably should have said hi to him when I was over at the MacDonald Hill Valley Golf & Spa.
This is just a fraction of what we've found. Don't worry, we'll post more.
Let me just correct this 028-9024-5133 is not my Phone number and saying that maybe you could stop by University Road, Belfast BT7 1NN is also wrong because I have never attended a University before or even lived in that location which shows that they are even more stupid. Hey Birdies good luck on finding out more information about me, hope you aren't this guy though.

Another person even said

MegN wrote:
I want more! You don't fuck with the fans.
Oh im really scared now, gonna have trouble sleeping from now on. Remember because you can't mess with Cinema Snob's fans because Brad Jones is like a God to them, so they mean he is like Apophis from Stargate posing as a false god.

People even replied back to them saying that there search was quite useless but see that post for yourself.

grmpf wrote:
Well, that was quite useless. All you did was post the phone number and address of the University of Belfast. Among the 25,000 students and 3,900 employees, I'm sure the rabid fans will get him in a heartbeat.
Btw, are you sure cyberstalking some douchebag and linking to your online service business (something that requires users to trust in its owner respecting their privacy) at the same time is a good idea?
octo7 also had something to say and it is true seeing as I grew up in Belfast and live there so I can confirm that you idiots wouldn't last a few minutes. 

octo7 wrote:
Go to University Road Belfast and see how long you last lol ;. I used to live in Belfast, they shoot people in the knees there for fun, a prissy little internet nerd like you wouldn't last five minutes in that city.
He also said after that he's starting to regret paying half price for the DVD as who wouldn't after reading my previous post where you could buy something so much better for slightly more or around the same price.

octo7 wrote:
In all honesty I'm starting to regret even paying half price for mine now.
In the end we all know who was pretending to be me, Brad Jones himself and his multi personality disorder posting as multiple people actually talking to himself. Anyhow see you again next time Cinema Snob Sucks Fans and Cinema Snob fans as seen below.

Warning snob fans are of a disgusting nature